Sleep tight. Or not.


I have a feeling that this post is going to spark an online battle of the sexes, but you gotta crack a few eggs to make an omelet, am I right? And I am cracking. Real bad.

Yesterday was clean sheets day. I really like clean sheets day. I mean, I don’t love taking all the sheets off the beds, washing them, and remaking the beds, but I like going to sleep in a bed with sheets that have been freshly laundered.

What are my husband’s feelings about clean sheets day? He has none, as far as I know. That’s because I don’t think he ever actually realizes that it is clean sheets day since he’s not directly involved in any of the steps that make such a glorious day happen.

Until last night. At about 11 pm it was time to go to sleep, but as I walked into my bedroom, I realized that although I had laundered all the sheets, I hadn’t yet made up the bed. So as tired as I was, I took one for the team and not only put the sheets on the bed, but layered the appropriate blankets, pillows, etc. I was SO tired, though, that I did everything except sliding my husband’s pillow into the clean pillowcase. I just kind of threw the empty pillowcase on his side of the bed and settled in for the night.

I was feeling a little guilty that I didn’t complete the final step of clean sheets day, but that feeling was obliterated right quick once he came to bed. Why? Because instead of simply sliding his pillow into the clean pillowcase, he threw the pillowcase on the floor and made a conscious decision to SLEEP WITH NO PILLOW.

What madness is this?!? I was so confused. I couldn’t stay silent:

Me: “Aren’t you going to put the pillowcase on your pillow?”

Him: “No.”

Me: “What are you talking about? You’re not going to sleep with a pillow just because you don’t want to put the pillowcase on?”

Him: “Yup.”

Me: “WHAT?!? You’d rather be uncomfortable all night than take two seconds to put the pillowcase on??”

Him: “That is correct.”

Me: (stewing) “Well, I’m not going to put the pillowcase on. That’s ridiculous. So you’re going to have to sleep the entire week without a pillow.”

Him: “Ok.”

Me: *twitching*

This morning I made the bed but left his pillowcase-less pillow on the floor, with the pillowcase lying ON TOP of it.

I feel like I am revisiting the door sticker incident of 2013. But this time, I’m not giving in. I can do this. I CAN DO THIS. I can make the bed every morning without his pillow in its proper spot. I can just leave it on the floor with the pillowcase draped on top of it and it won’t bother me. Mark my words, IT WILL NOT BOTHER ME.

Ladies, I’m sure you’re with me. Gentleman, if you are like my husband, I don’t understand you.